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Warning! Professional’s story about spouse’s mistake is kinda gross … nevertheless it’s one thing

Robert Damron hits his tee shot on Friday on the third gap at Norwood Nation Membership.

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Robert Damron was apprehensive. The personable professional had turned 50 final October, and yeah, the PGA Tour Champions is made for the 50-and-over bunch. However yeah, he hadn’t performed shortly, and nerves salivate over that thought.  

He’d come round, although. There he was final week, at Norwood Nation Membership in St. Louis. 

After which his spouse went right into a port-a-potty on Saturday on the eighth gap.

Didn’t see that coming, did you? However the story right here is a minimum of … one thing. 

Let’s speak Damron right here first. He’s been a professional since 1994. He gained as soon as on the PGA Tour, on the 2001 Byron Nelson. He almost gained the occasion once more three years later. He remodeled $6 million in prize cash. Stable. However he stopped. In an interview three years with Golfweek’s Eamon Lynch, he had been combating driver yips. Damron took an analyst gig with Golf Channel. 

Then 50 got here and he began to surprise. Then he stopped. Then he began once more.  

“I wasn’t prepared,” he mentioned on a video shared final week by the PGA Tour Champions. “I didn’t know if I really wished to. And I’m going, I do know I’ll play some, and I need to play some. It’s like a fraternity out right here, so I get to come back out and see my buddies, guys I haven’t seen in so lengthy. And I wished to apply sufficient to the place I, like I mentioned, I’m not going to complete final. And for about six months, I used to be going, ‘Oh, I’m going to complete final. I stink.’ 

“And I believed I’d take a short time to get it again. No large deal. Nevertheless it actually wasn’t till latest that I felt like I can go shoot a rating. You realize, I’ll be what, 51 late October — it’s not prefer it’s eternally in the past I turned 50, nevertheless it’s additional again than I care to consider. I’m going to face on the tee on Friday and I do not know what to anticipate. Will I really feel effective? Will I be nervous? Will I be swinging effectively? Will I not? Who is aware of? I hope I’m swinging effectively. We’ll see.”

And yeah, there he was final week, at Norwood Nation Membership in St. Louis, for the Ascension Charity Traditional. Earlier this summer time, he had performed the Senior Open at Royal Porthcawl in Wales, and now he was on a tour once more. Final Friday, through the first spherical, Damron shot a one-under 70. On Saturday, through the second spherical, he was three photographs worse.     

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On Saturday, he took to the positioning previously referred to as Twitter. He shared this, at 6:56 p.m. Jap time:

“So fortunate to have my first @ChampionsTour begin be at @AscensionCCG. What a first-class occasion ! Performed dangerous as we speak however a minimum of my spouse didn’t lose my courtesy automotive keys down the depths of a full porta potty……oh wait…she did….”

Then, at 8:15 p.m. ET, he wrote this:

“The keys have been discovered on the backside of the worst vile filth conceivable. They’ll in all probability make us purchase the automotive.”

There’s extra. 

There are particulars. 

A hat tip to the curious minds on the PGA Tour Champions social media crew, who questioned what occurred with Damron and his spouse, Molly, tracked down the professional on Sunday, recorded the dialog and shared it. 

Right here then is Damron’s telling of all of it:

“Yeah, I get performed. Crappy is an excellent option to describe how I performed. It wasn’t good. I struggled off the tee all day lengthy and one way or the other solely shot a pair over. I don’t even understand how, however quite a lot of luck. After which, simply to make the day so a lot better and brighter, my spouse sheepishly appears to be like at me within the car parking zone later and goes, ‘I don’t have the keys. I dropped them in a porta-potty again on 8.’ 

“And I’m going, ‘What do you imply, dropped them in a porta-potty — like round?’ No, no, no, within the porta-potty. 

“So final night time, we took one of many sanitation employees — bless his coronary heart — out to the place she thinks she dropped them. He had this stick. I’m holding the door open, he’s fishing round — nothing. 

“Final night time, I get a textual content from event director. ‘We discovered your keys.’ They had been pumping it out final night time.”

At this level within the video, Damron held up a sealed-shut plastic bag holding the keys. 

“As a matter of truth, I’ve acquired them proper right here. They’re not going to be touched by human arms once more. They’re staying on this baggie. They’re undoubtedly a biohazard, however they work.”

There’s nonetheless extra. 

On Sunday, through the remaining spherical, Damron shot a 68. He tied for forty fifth. Good things. If there have been nerves, he hid them effectively. However barely forward of the tip of the event, the PGA Tour Champions then shared the video — which drew this response from Damron. 

“Because of @AscensionCCG for being so understanding and affected person! And as per our association I’ll by no means carry Molly again to St Louis once more!!”

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Nick Piastowski

Nick Piastowski Editor

Nick Piastowski is a Senior Editor at and Golf Journal. In his position, he’s liable for enhancing, writing and creating tales throughout the golf area. And when he’s not writing about methods to hit the golf ball farther and straighter, the Milwaukee native might be taking part in the sport, hitting the ball left, proper and quick, and ingesting a chilly beer to scrub away his rating. You may attain out to him about any of those subjects — his tales, his sport or his beers — at



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